Always wanted to read a book but the idea of touching one makes you want to cry? It’s okay! I GOT YOUR BACK. I will teach you how to read a book in 6 quick steps.
1. Break into your roommate’s room and look around for a book.
If you don’t have a roommate or your roommate isn’t a reader, move into a place with a roommate who reads.
2. Grab a book at random. Since you’re not much of a reader, you probably don’t have a preference.
The next step will be key to deciding whether or not you and the book are MEANT TO BE.
3. Sniff it.
This is perhaps the most important step in the process because it will help you determine whether or not the book and you will be compatible. The actual words are meaningless. Anyone can write words but the smell of good books is distinct from bad books. Does it smell musty and like it’s probably older than your GMMA? OKAY I THINK THIS IS THE ONE.
4. Place the book on your head.
The key to reading a book isn’t to actually read it. Its placing it on your head so you may absorb the content of the book through osmosis. They don’t tell you these things in HS when you gotta read those gross text books because then you might actually like high school and who wants that?
5. Push reading books on your friends. BE A TREND STARTER.
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