Monday, January 13, 2014

Book Girls Don’t Cry – Lending Books

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Book Girls Don’t Cry is a feature where we will discuss/vent/advise on a bookish topic. This feature is co-hosted with the lovely Amy at Book Loving Mom.

This week on for BGDC I am talking about lending books.  What my policies are when I do and my pet peeves about the habit.  Since my New Year’s resolution was to get back into vlogging this year I have recorded a vlog for the topic.  That being said, I realize that this post is going up on a Monday and that some readers will be at work and unable to watch the vlog so I will also be typing out a quick recap of the video at the bottom.  This quick recap is also for the people who just don’t want to see/hear me, I get that.  So here we go:

*Bear with me on that break in the middle there, hubs came home with lunch and was knocking on the door and just ruined everything! That’s what men are here for though, right?*

So for the non video watchers here is a recap of my thoughts on book lending:

  1. I am much more hesitant to lend out paperback books than I am hardcover because of SPINES.  Since you can’t actually put a visible bend in a hardcover book I always try to convince anyone eyeing a paperback of mine to get a book I have in HC instead.
  2. When I do lend out paperback books I worry the entire time about the state in which my baby will return to me.  I’ll text after what I think is a good amount of time to ask how the person is liking the book and this is usually my subtle hint of letting them know it’s about time for the book to return home.
  3. When I lend out hardcover books I never let the dust jacket go with it.  I have a special spot on my bookshelf where I keep the jackets of books I have lent out or ones that I am currently reading.
  4. My biggest pet peeve about book lending are people who borrow books and then don’t return them for a long amount of time.  I’ve actually lent out books before to people who, when I asked for said book back, had had it for so long that they thought it was a book that they had bought *gasp*  I have been guilty of this once in the past so I am very conscious of the issue now.

So what about you?  Do you lend books out? If so, what are some policies/pet peeves you have when you do?

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35 Responses to “Book Girls Don’t Cry – Lending Books”

  1. Bethzaida (bookittyblog)

    I do the “how are you liking the book” thing when I lend a book. I’m always afraid something will happen to them. It’s like when you leave your kid at the babysitter you know that no one will take care of your child as good as you do. That’s how I feel about lending books. For some reason I don’t mind lending paperbacks but I hesitate to let people borrow my hard covers. Maybe I think they are more valuable? I don’t know. One thing that I won’t let anyone touch, though, are my signed copies! Those babies are staying home! Lol great post Jenni!

  2. Sophia Rose

    I rarely loan out books and only to a select few who are well aware that books are my treasures. I warn them not to borrow my book if they are too busy to get it back to me within two weeks and I warn them to treat it like its priceless so it comes back the way it left. I’ve sadly had books kept and lost by others and I have many out of prints so this is why I’m odd about it. I have a sort of reputation so I don’t get asked to loan out books very often.

  3. Lexie

    SAME!!! I worry about the spine of my paperbacks. Whenever I read my paperbacks, I usually open it just a tiny bit and not all the way. So when I’m done, it still looks new, doesn’t have creases or anything. When I lend it, I usually tell my friends or my brother (he likes to read too) to NOT open it so wide it’ll leave creases. They should not also put it anywhere, like on the floor *gasp! my bro did this I was furious I just went and get my book, shelve it back in it’s rightful place* and that they should return it the way it is when they got it from me. 🙂 I’m all about lending books but one should comply to my set of rules first because I bought it and I take care of it. It’s my sweat and blood. 😛

  4. Nick @ Nick's Book Blog

    One time I had this book, a paperback, that one of my classmate asked for. I lent it to her but after some time I saw someone else in class reading it. Turns out she thought it was OK to let people borrow. I was so annoyed because by the time book made it to me it, the cover was torn and the pages were missing. I vowed to never let anyone borrow my books again unless it’s to another book lover.
    I understand why you would want to check out on the books you lend.
    Great topic, Jenni.

  5. Amanda @ Book Badger

    I never lend out books because I never have anyone to lend them out to. None of my friends are real book people, and the only one that is has a collection that could compete with my own, and most of them are exactly the same! I would consider lending out books in the future, but I would have to think long and hard about it before hand; I get in a mess when I drop one of my books and it bends in an odd way *distress*

    Good topic Jenni, we can all relate in one way or another.

  6. Kristilyn (Reading In Winter)

    I hate lending out books. I only ever really lend them to my mom and if there’s a book I want someone to read, I’ll get it for them for a birthday or Christmas or just because so that they’ll have their own copy. I’ve even considered getting bookplates for my books to put my name in them so that I know what copy is mine. I still have no idea what happened to my copy of The Secret Life of Bees and it makes me sad!

    Oh, and I only lend them to my mom because she takes good care of them. I would worry about the spines, too! Not to mention worrying about when I’ll get them back … even if it’s not a book I’d reread my shelf would be lonely!

  7. Bekka

    Ughhhhh people who don’t return books. My mom has had my SIGNED copy of Insurgent FOREVER and what’s worse is that she smokes in her house. And now she has yet ANOTHER book of mine that I gave her in early December and she hasn’t even touched it! Why as for books you know you aren’t going to read? It makes me sooooooo mad.

  8. Lisa (Lost in Literature)

    Ha! I totally agree!! Both with not bending the spine of paperbacks *cringes* AND with people never returning a book they borrowed! I hate that!! Great vlog – you hit all the points I would have. I guess you and I are very similar on how we handle our book lending. 🙂

  9. Kris (Imaginary Reads)

    I can totally relate to being protective of my paperback spines. That said though, I’ve also lent out a hardback book that was in like-new condition only to have it returned much, much later in a horrible state. I know that I have a lot of friends who are equally protective of their books and would treat mine nicely, but I’m really scared to lend out books now! Great vlog, Jenni!

  10. Eileen @ Singing and Reading in the Rain

    I totally agree with you! unfortunately nobody I know really asks me whether or not they can borrow a book of mine, but I’ve always been particularly OCD about paperbacks because they’re so much more delicate than a hardcover. I’ve also been guilty of keeping a book too long, and I still haven’t returned one of my friend’s books back to her and she hasn’t returned my book back to me and now we go to different schools so it’s been a mess lol. Thanks for sharing, Jenni!

  12. Maya

    I actually really love to lend people books, especially when it’s to someone who doesn’t read very often, but I do understand why some people are quite particular about it.

  13. Pili

    I don’t usually loan books all that much… Me and the bf exchange books all the time, but most are common and not more his than mine. Otherwise, I’m really not good at lending books to people… I have a certain Gollum tendencies when it comes to my books!

  14. Michelle

    Great discussion! I tend to lend my books even though I have anxiety about it. And I cannot help myself judging the care of the book when it’s been returned. But I know I shouldn’t be too picky because I am sometimes guilty of being rougher with other people’s books myself. Oops!

  15. Kelly

    I enjoy lending out books to people because I love helping to spread a love of books that I love but I get so anxious when they’re out. One of my friends has two of my books right now and she’s had them for sooooo long. I’m really nervous about when she returns them. At one point I was lending books out to so many people that my friends started calling my bookshelf a library. I was at the point that I was writing down what books I had lent out and who had them! I haven’t really lent out any lately but I do still make suggestions to people and if it’s someone I trust I’ll suggest letting them borrow it if I own it myself.

  16. Maja (The Nocturnal Library)

    I honestly try to avoid lending books whenever I can. There are few people who I think are trustworthy and just as obssessive compulsive. I have no trouble lending them my books. But generally, I prefer buying someone a book rather than giving them my own. My babies are all perfect, no creases, no broken spines, nothing. Good as new. And I’d like to keep them that way.

  17. Melliane

    you’re right, it’s what if perfect with the hardcovers. The only problem is that they take a lot of place… because they’re big. But otherwise, I can give them to friends without worrying about them. I confess that my books don’t have any spines because I’m really careful but it’s more difficult when friends want to read them but well, I give them and cross my fingers lol. For now I didn’t have any real problems.

  18. Savannah

    When I lend out my books I give rules. One, no eating or drinking while reading my book. I don’t want nasty crusty food and saliva spilled on y pages or at the corners. And second, no bending the corner of my books. Also, I do write constantly asking if they are finished so I can have the book back.

  19. Wendy Darling

    Hah, we did a discussion post about Bookish Habits last year, too. I am the SAME way–I am very picky about who I lend books to, and I take my dust jackets off, too! And people who never return books….grrrrrrr. FRIENDS NO MORE.

  20. Emma

    Oh, I can’t bear to part with a paperback! Especially when I know they are one of *those* people who bend it right back and snap it all! Also, I never lend people books who plan to take them on holiday, I hate getting them back full of sand and suncream, or even worse when they leave it out in the sun and glue melts which holds the whole thing together!

  21. Rashika

    Eeek. I don’t like lending books in general because I’ll be in a constant state of worry about my book. I remember this one time I lend out a copy, it took my friend a month to return in it and the whole time I was so paranoid that something would happen that I was always on the edge and was kind of snappy towards that friend. It was a paperback so I was worried that when I got the book back it would be falling apart. I actually started keeping a record at some point of who had ‘checked out’ my book and when. If the person didn’t return the book in 2 weeks, I’d pop the question (you know, the one where you subtly ask if they enjoyed it).

  22. Lizzy

    When my kid ripped off the cover of one of my personalized, signed books…I cried. I don’t think that I’ve ever screamed at him more (well, except the time that he was caught with a steak knife). He is slightly more respectful of my books now. He leaves them alone on the shelf now…usually.

    I let my BFF borrow my signed copy of Linger and I found it on her bookshelf with a coffee stain. When I asked her about it, I knew that she wasn’t returning it because she didn’t know how to explain the fact that she ruined one of my books. She was more upset about it than me. And, seeing her honest reaction made me realise that it wasn’t serious enough of an offense to warrant me hurting our friendship. I could tell that it was an accident. And trust me, my kid and her younger kid both like to make accidents. So, now Linger is back on my shelf…signed but stained. I think I feel worse that I haven’t read the book than the fact that it’s damaged.

    So, yeah…it sucks when people break your shit. But, at the end of the day, it is still stuff and as long as it wasn’t done intentionally, I think it’s forgivable.

  23. Melanie (YA Midnight Reads)

    I lend my books to some of my trusted friends, but I make them promise a million times before hand to promise me that they will return it ASAP in the exact same condition or else they’ll have to buy me a new one. >.< I also really hate it when my books come back with doggy ears. Like get a bookmark!!!

    Lovely post, Jenni! <33

  25. Charlotte @ Thoughts and Pens

    I rarely lend books even to my closest of friends. I even lie just so they couldn’t nag me about borrowing my beauties. I know I am bad but I am only protecting their welfare. Ever since I got addicted to reading, I have already lost count the books that I’ve lost because the borrowers were downright careless. In addition, if they ever get returned to me, they are really in a sorry state that I just want to put them out of their misery.

    Moreover, I don’t really lend my hardcovers. Sure, they’re durable but they’re more expensive than paperbacks. And I always hate it when they’re returned mangled, full of doggy ears, stains and whatever.

    So to make things worry free for me, I just pretend that I have no more physical books. 🙁

  27. Tina

    I only lend out books to really good friends and only if they are big readers like I am. Occasionally, I’ll lend ONE to a friend who I’m trying to convince to start reading and I know they are responsible and neat, and like I said, a really good friend. I embarrassingly have a log I fill out HAH. I have a notebook next to my book cases where I fill out their name, the book, and the day they lent it. And I usually only tell them they can have it for a month and then I need it back. I’m a total bitch about it and I tell them that up front!

  29. Megan

    I don’t lend my books very often. I almost never offer to loan them, so the person has to ask me themselves. Really, I only loan books to my parents or one friend. My Mom is terrible for borrowing, then getting busy and never reading the book and I’ll have to go to her house and find the book to bring it home and she won’t notice for months!

  30. Nova Lee @ Out of Time

    I don’t lend books out. Ever. I don’t want people touching my babies! Plus, usually I don’t buy books so whatever I have, I keep very precious. Plus, my friends don’t like books anyway, so it isn’t like they’re asking 😛

  31. Heidi

    Hi Jenni! I followed you over at Alluring Reads. Glad you’re here with Giselle. I just want to say I thoroughly enjoyed your vlog. Fun and funny! What a great start to my day. I’m looking forward to more – keep ’em coming!

  32. Julie S.

    Hey awesome post! I just wanted to say thanks for having a text version of the video post since I can’t watch the video right now 🙂

    I don’t think I’ve lent out my signed books very much, but those are the only ones I’m very careful with. I can only think of one signed book I’ve lent out, and it was to very trusted friends who respect my books, and I knew I would get it back quickly since it was for a book club event. Other books, well they’re meant to be read and loved, and a crease in the spine means just that. Maybe I don’t have that worry because I try hard to find the books used if I can to save money, unless they’re books I’m getting at a signing.

  33. Bonnie

    You know it’s funny, I don’t have people in my real life that read. Which is horrible but whatever, that just means I don’t have people that want to steal my books. BUT my sister in law and her daughter came by the other day and asked to borrow two and I said sure but I basically cried myself to sleep that night wondering if my poor lovely books are being well taken care of. *sigh* I’m weird. But it’s been weeks. And I haven’t seen them. Haven’t heard from them. So no. I don’t like lending.

  34. fishgirl182 @ nite lite

    I never thought about PB vs hardcovers and the wear and tear when you lend them out. My thing is more just about lending it out to someone I trust. I think if I trust them enough with my book then I trust them to take care of it. And a bit of wear on the spine doesn’t bother me too much. I mean, it has to be read, right? That said if it’s a super favorite, sometimes I will have a pristine new copy and a separate lending copy.

  35. Christina (A Reader of Fictions)

    I DO want to see and hear you, but I’m also not going to remember to come back. I’m sorry about that, but I do love your face.

    Agreed on paperback versus hardcover. DO NOT FUCK IT UP.

    Ha, I tell people that if they mess my book up badly enough, they are buying me a pretty new one, because fuck no.