Monday, June 24, 2013

Review: This is W.A.R. by Lisa Roecker

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This is W.A.R.
Lisa Roecker
Genre: YA Mystery
Publication date: July 2nd 2013
by Soho Teen

This is W.A.R. begins with a victim who can no longer speak for herself, and whose murder blossoms into a call-to-arms. Enter four very different girls, four very different motives to avenge Willa Ames-Rowan, and only one rule to start: Destroy James Gregory and his family at any cost. Willa’s initials spell the secret rallying cry that spurs the foursome to pool their considerable resources and deliver their particular brand of vigilante justice. Innocence is lost, battles are won—and the pursuit of the truth ultimately threatens to destroy them all.

-A copy was provided by Soho Press for review-

There are so many things I disliked about this book that I decided to review via bullet point, make of it as you wish:

♦ The premise: Rich family gets away with anything – murder in this case – because you know.. they’re rich! Duh! But then these friends of the dead girl and daughters of other rich neighbors (though not AS rich) decide to be vigilantes and bring the family down. *queue intense music* To do that, they first have to all give 25,000$ each (O_o) as their vigilante club fund (yes- a club! Like when I was 7! THIS IS SO EXCITING!) to use for buying information and other important vigilante tasks. Where can this plot go wrong? *snort*

♦ If you like bad daytime soap operas, then maybe I would tell you to read this book (but probably not).

Saying “no” to the Gregorys meant her job would be mysteriously downsized; a gas leak or a termite infestation would leave the tiny apartment she’d rented for the summer uninhabitable. Type-written threats, sent via envelopes with no return address, would ensure that she left town quickly and quietly.”

…*snort*

♦ This one guy is offering date rape drugs to girls regularly, and they take them willingly! But they’re not dumb, nope, I mean, why worry about taking an unidentified pill that “will only relax you”? How about this one girl who actually did know what it was, and, smart girl that she is, fakes taking it because… well because she wanted to get raped (duh!). Unfortunately, though, she got saved by one of the vigilantes (How dare she?).

“I never take his stupid pills. I never do anything I don’t want to do. And I sure as hell don’t need to be saved. I had him right where I wanted him the entire time.”
“But, you were drugged; you were attacked.”
“I was acting. The Gregorys are so easy.”

Great self respect, there!

♦ Meet Sloane: Sloane knew she was dumb. She said dumb things all the time, did dumb things. She’d learned to compensate for being an idiot by shutting up and agreeing with whatever everyone else said or did.

It didn’t happen often and she could never be sure when it was coming, but she was sometimes struck out of the blue with an idea.

It was like playing rock, paper, scissors. Sloane hated that game because she could never remember what was supposed to beat what so she always ended up playing rock. Rocks were hard. Rocks could smash. Rocks should always win.

But really it’s not her fault…

Sloane’s parents: “When Sloane missed curfew because she passed out behind the boathouse at the Club’s Summer Swing, they were sure Sloane must have narcolepsy. She didn’t, but that hadn’t stopped her parents from putting her on some crazy drug.”

At one of four POVs in this novel, Sloane is at least the most memorable. Stupid is harder to forget?

♦ Foolproof plans to bring the killers down:

Putting photoshopped scandalous pictures of the boys on t-shirts and selling them at the gift shop.

Selling the family’s antique watches. ““ON EBAY!” Lina shouted. “We sell them on eBay.” She laughed maniacally, and everyone couldn’t help but join in. Sloane laughed the loudest for once. Turned out being a dumbass had its moments.”

And my personal favorite: slipping hormone pills in the boys’ drinks until they grow manboobs.

These girls, like, OMG, like they have the bestestest ideas!

___

Do I really need to point out more? This is not W.A.R., this is B.A.D. (that was too easy!)!

I’m done here.

*Quotes in this review were taken from the uncorrected proof*
1 Cold Espresso

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Canadian blogger, wife, mother, coffee lover, and sarcastic at heart! She has had a love for all things bookish since before Amazon and eReaders existed *le gasp*. You can also find her organizing tours and other fun things at Xpresso Book Tours.
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33 Responses to “Review: This is W.A.R. by Lisa Roecker”

  1. Melanie

    Oh man, you are hilarious. Definitely not going to be read this one now, the premise and character sound so stupid.

    Fantastic review, Giselle! <33

  2. Kate Midnight Book Girl

    The summary sounded so promising. I had been bummed that I didn’t get this at BEA, but now I am bummed no more. Although, I think it could be a fun, campy read. Plus I’ve always been big on revenge. 😉

    Also, I don’t get why her parents would out her on drugs for one incident of “narcolepsy”, or why a doctor would agree. But then again, if you’re rich…

  3. Amy

    Well, shit! I am on the tour for this. Perhaps I should ask for a guest post instead since I doubt this will get 3 stars from me. It sounded like a really great book, too bad that it didn’t deliver. And OMG I hate dumb characters.

  4. Jenni @ Alluring Reads

    Bahahahahaha This was the best DNF I have ever done, so happy that I put this one down. I’m happy to be vindicated in that decision with this post. Sloane sounds like a complete idiot! None of this story was believable at all, I mean I am able to suspend some belief but even the character act so dumb that there was no saving it.

  5. Nick

    Haha! I’ve been waiting for your review since I saw your updates on the book! Seriously though, this book sure does sound dumb. And Sloane? My goodness, I don’t even want to hear her name be mentioned! Those quotes though! Haha! I’m actually dying laughing here! xD
    Great review, Giselle!
    Appreciate the honesty.

  6. Megan K.

    At least your review was entertaining, right? 😉 Even though clubs can be cool, I think the word the author actually meant was “gang.” The premise reminds me of my Secret Seven and Famous Five days… And dude. Talk about petty. Those excerpt from Sloane both amused and disgusted me. Get some fucking self respect and stop wallowing in self pity!

  7. Christianna Marks

    I’m reading this one right now and I’m not sure what I think yet. I think it’s really out there in premise and what not though. I’m close to being done so I might as well finish it. This was a great review! You pointed out all of the issues that I’m having so far. I have to admit that it’s super readable though.

  8. Molli

    LOL. Giselle this made me crack up. JEEZ. I am so sorry you even spent any time reading this, but at least you made the best of it in your review!

  9. Shooting Stars Mag

    It makes me think of a more amateur version of the show Revenge; it does have a fun premise though!! I’m sorry this didn’t do it for you at all. It seems a bit silly, but I guess some people might find it fun.

  10. Nereyda @Mostly YA Book Obsessed

    The cover is pretty…there, that’s one nice thing about the book 🙂
    Luckily, I skipped on this one. Sometimes really bad reviews deserve bullet points just showcase how bad they are. Although your review is funny for me it’s sad that you had to read this 🙁

  11. Alexa Y.

    Your review made me laugh out loud! This book doesn’t sound particularly promising to me, unfortunately, especially because that character would probably irritate me while I read.

  12. Aneeqah

    Wait… what, you DON’T like soap operas?! I thought everyone watched them and loved them! I mean, that’s practically all I do with my life! Eating, sleeping, breathing, that’s all for the losers. Watching soap operas is my life. And wow, a BOOK that reads like a soap opera?! Sign me up. This Sloane girl also sounds SO fantastic, I think we should be biffles. We seem to have SO much in common, OMG. LMAO. And I actually totes want to be in a club where you have to pay 25 grand to be a part of it. And those drugs, they’re for the cool kids, don’t ya think? That girl who took them was SMART, hello! I wanna be just like her when I grow up. *eyes admiringly*

    Bahahaha. Just no.

    Thanks for such a hilarious and honest review, Giselle. <3

    -Aneeqah @ My Not So Real Life

  13. Aman

    There are 4 pov?!? Oh, hell NO! I was suppose to read this book on Wednesday, but I guess, I should just prepare my self for a DNF. That or just find a reason not to review it. This sounds horrible! And the hormonal pills? Does that even happen? Ugh! Fun review, Giselle! Sorry you have to go through that 🙁

  14. Jen @ Pop! Goes The Reader

    This is easily one of the most entertaining reviews I’ve read in quite some time! Thank you for reading this so that the rest of us didn’t have to. I’ve learned more than enough from this review to know that this book is definitely not the one for me!

  15. Jen (Books and Other Happy Ever Afters)

    Um, yeah, WTF? I’m still kind of confused on what this book is all about, it just seems like a bunch of junk/crap/random stuff. Sloane.. LOL stupid = harder to forget LOLOLOL. This seems like a super weird book that I’d like to stay away from and NOT read.. Thanks for the hilarious review, Giselle!

  16. Renae M.

    Bleh, this book sounds like a hot mess. What you describe of the book sounds extremely silly and nonsensical. Just…weird stuff. Your “this is B.A.D.” status update was seriously hilarious, though. Best thing on Goodreads for days.

  17. Jaime Lester

    Uh….. no. Just. Plain. NO! I was laughing my ass off reading your review, and I honestly must say that I considered reading this just because I am curious about the rest of the idiotic stuff in the book. But I think the idiotic stuff that you pointed out for us is plenty. Yeah, like I said, NO! Nope. Nada. Not going to happen. Who are these authors? Do they have other books out there? I’m going to have to do some research. Thank you for sparing me a few hundred pages of WTF

  18. Maji Bookshelf

    wow… that’s pretty bad. I’m actually reading this one pretty soon, but I honestly hope I’d be able to enjoy this more than you did. Though I believe it’s just wishful thinking.. Thanks for your honest review!
    – Farah @ MajiBookshelf

  19. Micheline D

    bahahaha omg all those quotes, situations, decisions and inner dialogue – wth is up with that?! Well if you had half as much fun writing this review as it was to read, I say it was almost kind of worth it. But probably not. >.< LOL thanks for your honesty though, I'll be sure to steer clear!

  20. vivalabooks

    Oh gosh! I was looking forward to this one, but now… Haha I can’t stop laughing! Your review was hilarious! I’m definitely going to give this book a pass, but at least it provided some comedic relief. thanks for the honest, entertaining review!

  21. Jaz

    “Bestestest” <– LOVE!

    Yours is a very different opinion to the others I’ve seen of This is WAR. I heard from others that this was one of the best books they’ve ever read :/

    After reading your review… I’m not so sure. The things they did sound stupider than Pretty Little Liars.

    It must have been a really frustrating read if you had to break it down by dotpoint 😛 I only do that when I’m so angry I can’t form coherent sentences lol.