Publication date: June 11th 2012
Before my older sister Francesca died, I worked at the bakery and wrote songs, but now I write lists. Lists like ten reasons why it’s my fault Francesca’s dead, or five reasons why I should try and win Howie back, or one reason why I need to stop lying to everyone, including myself.
Wish I Could Have Said Goodbye is an extraordinary novel about one family’s struggle to make sense of their world after losing a family member to addiction. Through sixteen-year-old Carmella’s eyes, we witness the courage and strength it takes to overcome the consequences of grief, guilt and co-dependency. WIth conviction and determination, Carmella shows us what can happen when we’re open to love, feel the pain of our loss, and find the courage to accept the truth of our lives.
Wish I Could Have Said Goodbye was a little bit of a roller coaster ride for me. Some part of the book I really enjoyed, but other parts annoyed me to bits. These would come in spurts, spiking my irritation towards certain aspects, but then it would quickly dissolve and I would enjoy the book once more. Thus, it’s a little hard to straighten out my feelings towards this book, but if you’d ask me if it was good overall, then the answer would be yes.
We’re experiencing the aftermath of a familial death. Carmella (Mello)’s sister and best friend just died of a drug overdose, which has left her family ashamed and confused, as well as broken to pieces. The emotional aspect of the book is present from the start. You feel Mello’s pain and you understand her guilt. It’s hard to move on when something so unexpected hits, something you think you could have fixed if only you would have done something. While I’m not going to say that I connected with Mello on any real level–she never got into my heart like some other protagonists in similar contemporary novels–I was still able to sympathize with her situation quite easily. I understood her reactions that were often driven by her grief; a result of keeping all the pain and blame inside. Luckily, by her side stands Howie, the perfect kind of personality for her situation. She keeps everyone at arms length, separated by her self-blame, but Howie finds a way to get through to her, and instead he becomes her rock. I adored him. He was often lively and charismatic as well, giving this book the upper it had to have.
Mello and Howie are the life of the book, simply put. Mello’s parents, however, from their dismissal to their complete disrespect of Mello’s choices and wants, became a bit of a burden to my enjoyment of the story. They were not at all fun to hate, either. For instance, at one point, her father got pissed at Mello for having her hair down, not in a ponytail:
“What the hell has gotten into you?” His face looks like old crumpled up newspaper.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? First you lock yourself in your room and then you show up at a family holiday looking like that?”
She hadn’t rebelled by letting her hair run embarrassingly wild either. There were also some religious aspects and beliefs with which I did not agree, but I won’t get into that here. At last, I was ever so happy to see Mello stand up to them. Finally taking control of her life showed character growth as well as getting my complete respect.
The other negative aspect I have towards this novel is really something of personal taste. I’m sure some do actually really enjoy it, but I really dislike when a book has a lot of lists. Like: “Reasons why I should keep on living”; “Reasons why I hate sports”, followed by a numbered list. They were quite common in this book–almost every beginning of a chapter and then some. After a few I began to simply ignore them, skipping through, as I found it disrupted the flow of the story more than anything it gave to it.
These issues were rather small in the grand scheme of things. I did find I was able to overlook them, and like I said, overall it was a good story. It tackles a very tough topic where a lot of grief and self blame is dealt with. Depression and blame is very common after the death of a friend or family member, and I can only hope that someone in a similar situation finds solace in books like these. If you’re a fan of issue books, Wish I Could Have Said Goodbye juggles loss, guilt, depression, but most importantly, love and acceptance, proving to be an emotional read above all else.
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Elizabeth Barbarick
This is a great review! I greatly enjoyed it! Thank you so much for sharing!
-Elizabeth @ Stuffed Shelves
Amy
This sounds interesting, but the same things that bother you, I think would bother me. I don’t mind lists, but when it gets to be frequent, that seems a bit annoying. The father sounds like someone I would want to smack for being a tool!! Great review doll!!
Anatea Oroz
I haven’t heard about this book yet, but after reading your review I think I might actually like it. I don’t think the lists would bother me, so I may give this book a try. Great review.
Anatea @ Anatea’s Bookshelf
Candace
I actually loved hating her parents. I think just because they brought more emotion to the story.
Thanks for hosting a tour stop!
Nuzaifa @ Say It With Books
I like reading books that present the story in different forms i.e. as letters,diary entries and Lists – So I think I’d enjoy this book very much!
I also have a soft spot for books that deal with “issues” so that’s a bonus.
But I do dislike books that go on about religious beliefs so I’m a little wary about it.Thanks for sharing thoughts,Giselle! 🙂
Jenea Whittington
I really don’t mind journal entries but not when I kinda takes over. Great review. This is one that I am not sure about. Thanks for sharing it.
Jenea @ Books Live Forever
kimbacaffeinate
Wow, this does tackle a tough subject and everyone handles grief so differently, sounds like I would loathe the parents. Thanks for sharing this one.
Faith Sullivan
The footprint on the cover really tugs at the heartstrings, doesn’t it?
Melissas Eclectic Bookshelf
Sounds like a very tough read…and I wonder if the parents way of handling the grief was by being extra hard on her 🙁
Sam
I completely understand the issue with the lists. It rarely works for me either. Anyway, I’m not sure if this book is really my sort of thing, but I’m glad you found it to be a decent read overall, despite the slight issues. Lovely review as always! 🙂
Kay
I hadn’t heard of this book before. It sounds like an interesting and depressing read. If I am in the mood I really enjoy books like these, but I have to be in the mood. With the list thing, I would probably skip over those too, I’ve done it before in other books that have little clips at the beginning of the chapters, unless they are important of course.
Jesse Burgoyne
I think this one just sounds too sad for me. I know there are a lot of people out there that would probably connect with Mello and her problems, but I honestly just think this book would be one big downer for me. Guess I’m just in a happy book kind of place right now. Great review though!
Jesse @ Pretty In Fiction
Nick
Sounds like a pretty intense read. I’m glad that you enjoyed it despite the couple of issues that you had with the book. I understand what you mean about the list. I also think that it disrupts the flow of a book especially if it’s not part of the story line.
Great review, Giselle! 🙂
P.S I just noticed you hit 4000! Congrats, girlie! 😀
Millie
Great review! This sounds like a very interesting story. While I’m not into contemporaries much, I will read them every now and then. And I’m not one to enjoy religious aspects or lists in books, either.
Cheers!
Millie @ Millie D’s Words
Eileen
I’m sorry you didn’t like this one as much, Giselle! I agree sometimes a numbered list could totally take this off-flow and if the things don’t tie into the chapter then that might be a teensy bit awkward O_O BUT I’m sure it did. Maybe?
ANYWAY. That dad is one strict little dude. A ponytail? O_O That’s so weird But anyway, I’m glad you were able to sympathize with Mello (My typo spelled that out as JELLO as first! You gotta admit that would be an epic first name!) although you didn’t totally love her like pie! (or cake…or DESERTS WITHOUT FRUIT! See, I remember! Not being a stalker or anything…)
Shooting Stars Mag
Lovely review. Her parents do sound quite strict! I can’t relate to that at all in my own life, so it makes me empathetic toward characters. I actually really like lists, so that aspect of the novel would be a plus for me! It makes me think of the book High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (pretty sure he did a lot of five point lists, usually about music).
-Lauren
Savannah Bookswithbite
I like a good emotional read and I think I may like this one. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Rose Herbert
Sounds awesome! I’d get irritated at the same bits though I’m sure =/
Alexa Y.
It seems like Mello has a lot of things to deal with in this one, and that alone would be enough to keep me interested. HOWEVER, it bugs me to no end that her parents (based on your one excerpt) seem so mean. Unless it was meant to bring the story forward, I don’t see the point in that!