Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Review: Hold Me Like a Breath by Tiffany Schmidt

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I received this book for free from Bloomsbury in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Review: Hold Me Like a Breath by Tiffany SchmidtHold Me Like a Breath by Tiffany Schmidt
Series: Once Upon a Crime Family #1
Published by Bloomsbury on May 19, 2015
Genres: Contemporary, Retellings, Romance, Thriller, YA
Source: Bloomsbury
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one-star

Penelope Landlow has grown up with the knowledge that almost anything can be bought or sold—including body parts. She’s the daughter of one of the three crime families that control the black market for organ transplants.

Penelope’s surrounded by all the suffocating privilege and protection her family can provide, but they can't protect her from the autoimmune disorder that causes her to bruise so easily.

And in her family's line of work no one can be safe forever.

All Penelope has ever wanted is freedom and independence. But when she’s caught in the crossfire as rival families scramble for prominence, she learns that her wishes come with casualties, that betrayal hurts worse than bruises, that love is a risk worth taking . . . and maybe she’s not as fragile as everyone thinks.

This is probably the first time in a long while since I’ve gotten this infuriated and angry and just fuming over a book. I chose to read this novel expecting great things (especially with such a title as romantic as that), but I ended up putting the book down at certain times and pacing around the room just to cool off the steam coming out of my ears. was that seething. 

(And I’m not the only one. I buddy read this with Aimee and we kept ranting about the book to each other.)

I don’t even know where to start with this thing. It had so many factors that could have given us an amazing story – underground family-syndicates that deal with black market organ transplants, a heroine who has an autoimmune disorder, assigned guardians and protectors who are a part of the Family – but all of these were taken for granted and flushed down the drain by the book’s seemingly unnecessary emphasis on the romance, which was the most rushed and cheesy and instalove-y romance that I’ve read yet.

First of all, let’s talk about the heroine, Penelope Landlow. She is a descendant of a family that has done countless organ transplants for those who can afford it (read: illegal). She is very frail and everyone is very careful with her because she bruises and bleeds easily due to her autoimmune disorder, a condition where her body keeps destroying her platelets count. I wouldn’t really have minded this tidbit and would normally have embraced it, but it felt like her condition was more of a cop-out in order not to explore the syndicate aspect of this book. Since we see the events unfold in her perspective, we keep getting brushed off whenever it comes to the business and ongoings in said family business, because such were“not good/right for her” or that “she shouldn’t bother herself with it”. The only time she was actually in a meeting that discussed the business, the heroine was fucking spacing out. When she came back to reality, the meeting was finished. FINISHED.

What the fuck???

Here I am, not already getting enough info about the politics and internal affairs of this goddamn business, and the remote chance that we do, the heroine conveniently spaces out. She’s already isolated from everything as it is! This goes on until the rest of the novel… where it consequently becomes a hundred pages of cheesy dialogue and feewings between the girl and a guy who she falls in love with at first sight… I mean, he saves her from falling in the streets and she later dreams about kissing him… take note: at this point, they still haven’t conversed with each other decently (at least not a conversation with her thinking straight), and they do not know each other’s names. So consider me flabbergasted when she later talks about how she dreamt about him while unconscious! (and I’m here, wondering, how the hell would someone know that if they were bloody unconscious?!).

I mean, get this: she later wakes up and finds this guy followed her to her apartment, and instead of, I don’t know, panicking that her location got found out so easily (since her life is in danger), she tells him this:

“And I thought rock-hard jaw lines only existed in romance novels.”

DO YOU SEE NOW WHY I HAD TO TAKE BREAKS WHILE READING THIS BOOK?! IT WAS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP GOING AND NOT WANT TO STAB SOMETHING. I was actually scolded by my mother for continuously walking around the room muttering incoherent curses, but I assure you, I had to put the negative energy somewhere or else I was going to explode. The heroine and her lack of self-preservation just made me want to bang my hand on a granite wall.

And this continues for a loooong, looong time. A repetition of her going out with the dude, of them saying sweet nothings to each other, of them going to places and acting like an old married couple despite the fact they know zilch about each other, despite the fact they’ve only met a few days prior. I had to resort to skimming because it wasn’t just annoying, it was also so cheesy. I mean, she gets told she’s “the best thing in the whole city” and she thinks he’s the one “keeping her alive”. Take bloody note: they only met a few days ago.

And it really annoyed me how she made everything about her. Her brother is having a life? She doesn’t get happy and instead gets angry at him for “getting ahead of her”. She is hesitant to share about her life, and she notices this certain guy is hesitant to tell her about his life, and she has the bloody gall to feel offended at this. She lies about herself and someone else lies about themselves, and she jumps the gun and accuses him of being a liar. WHAT THE FUCK. JUST WHAT THE BLOODY HELL.

God, don’t ask me how I lasted this long. I don’t even know.

I did like the ending, though. The ending was promising. The ending made me see a Penelope that was more mature and more determined. However, even if this is so, that doesn’t invalidate the fact that reading this book was like watching Teletubbies on TV: unbearable and just so horribly painful. Hopefully you guys will like this more than I did, and if you did, don’t forget to tell me what you liked so I can go back and reminsce if I may have liked it somewhat, too. At this point, the negatives are just so glaringly obvious.

Did you find my review helpful? Consider liking it on Goodreads!

one-star

1 Cold Espresso

Audiobook Review: A Wicked Thing by Rhiannon Thomas

Audiobook Review: A Wicked Thing by Rhiannon Thomas

Posted by on 03/31/2015 • 14 Comments

As you’ve probably noticed, I am a sucker for retellings. They are very hit or miss with me, but I really enjoyed this one. I listened to the audio of this one, and though it took a while to get used to the narrator, it was a good story. I loved the twist on the retelling of Sleeping Beauty. I thought it was fabulous where the author took the story of after she wakes up. And it’s not to her beloved prince like in the original. It is one hundred years after she has fallen asleep from her curse, and it’s not a happily ever after. The King and Queen are awful and only want to use her for their needs. The prince, Rodric, is only doing what he is…

Review: All the Rage by Courtney Summers

Review: All the Rage by Courtney Summers

Posted by on 03/30/2015 • 18 Comments

This is some terribly gritty stuff! This story revolves around a rape, and soon enough, you can add in a girl’s disappearance. So yes, this book is harsh, and Summers tackles it head-on with her immensely poignant writing style. She has a way of dissecting her characters until you can’t help but feel just as lost, just as completely broken as they are. I was honestly emotionally and psychologically confused for much of this novel. This book also touches on one of today’s biggest challenges with gender violence – society’s disbelief and victim blaming. Especially when the accused is the son of a prominent town figure. Stories like this are, sadly, the reality for many girls in our own world.

With that said, this is not a story to tread…

Fresh Batch (March 29th – April 4th)

Fresh Batch (March 29th – April 4th)

Posted by on 03/28/2015 • 12 Comments

Fresh Batch, posted weekly, keeps you up to date on the hottest releases of the upcoming week.

Flavor of the week:

The Start of Me and You Emery Lord Publication date: March 31st 2015by Bloomsbury

Goodreads Purchase

Following her pitch-perfect debut Open Road Summer, Emery Lord pens another gorgeous story of best friends, new love, & second chances.

Brimming with heartfelt relationships and authentic high-school dynamics The Start of Me and You proves that it’s never too late for second chances.

It’s been a year since it happened—when Paige Hancock’s first boyfriend died in an accident. After shutting out the world for two years, Paige is finally ready for a second chance at high school . . . and she has a plan….

Review: When by Victoria Laurie

Review: When by Victoria Laurie

Posted by on 03/27/2015 • 11 Comments

If you think this is your usual paranormal book where a girl finds herself capable of doing some pretty cool shit and doesn’t know how to use it and consequently gets frustrated until she finds the Love Interest/s who help/s her channel her powers for good before they run off to the sunset to their happily ever after, STOP RIGHT THERE! I shit you not, When by Victoria Laurie is anything but… that. It gets rid of the overused PR formula and breathes into it new life. I’m telling you right now that this book will surprise you in the sickest way possible (and I mean that very positively).

Being able to know when someone will die is definitely not an easy burden. If I had this curse put upon me, I…

Review: The Cemetery Boys by Heather Brewer

Review: The Cemetery Boys by Heather Brewer

Posted by on 03/26/2015 • 5 Comments

This was interesting and creepy. I didn’t really care much for most of the characters, but I did feel for Stephen. I found myself really feeling bad for him. Devon was horrible, and Cara just didn’t seem believable to me. In general though, I thought the story was pretty good. Based on old town stories and people who are set in there ways. It’s hard being an outsider, especially in a town like Spencer. Where things aren’t quite right, it’s hard to know if the old stories hold any truth, or if it is just the overactive imaginations of everyone.

Stephen doesn’t feel like he fits in, and he isn’t sure if he really wants to. He just wants to go back to Denver and away from the small…

Interview with Jennifer Banash + Giveaway!

Interview with Jennifer Banash + Giveaway!

Posted by on 03/23/2015 • 5 Comments

After reading and loving Silent Alarm a few weeks ago (read my review here), I’m happy to have had the chance to interview its author, Jennifer Banash, for y’all today! And in case you hadn’t stumbled on it yet, here’s a bit more on the book first:

Interview with Jennifer Banash

What inspired you to write on the topic of school shootings?

I was reading about the 2012 shooting in Chardon, Ohio, and when I came to the end of the article, it mentioned the fact that the shooter had a sister only a year younger. Although the real life sister didn’t attend the same school as her brother, I began thinking, what if? I wondered what it would be like to live in the same town…

Fresh Batch (March 22nd – 28th)

Fresh Batch (March 22nd – 28th)

Posted by on 03/21/2015 • 11 Comments

Fresh Batch, posted weekly, keeps you up to date on the hottest releases of the upcoming week.

Flavor of the week:

The Walls Around Us Nova Ren Suma Publication date: March 24th 2015 by Algonquin Young Readers

Goodreads Purchase

“Ori’s dead because of what happened out behind the theater, in the tunnel made out of trees. She’s dead because she got sent to that place upstate, locked up with those monsters. And she got sent there because of me.”

The Walls Around Us is a ghostly story of suspense told in two voices—one still living and one long dead. On the outside, there’s Violet, an eighteen-year-old dancer days away from the life of her dreams when something threatens to expose the shocking truth…